Does this urn make my ash look big?

For a disease that robs your future, there sure is a lot of advanced planning with ALS. This past few weeks, we took care of three things pertaining to end-of-life. First up, Island Health folks stopped by and I was registered as a palliative patient, and with hospice, which allows us access to a wide...

Darkness

Black dog has me by the throat. I expend all my energy trying to pry those locked jaws off just a little for some breathing room. Sometimes I am strong enough to gasp a breath, maybe two, but not always. Never for long. Social anxieties grow deep roots. I open Facebook, see the messages, the...

Winter

It's taken me a long time to write this. I wanted to write about how I spent my Christmas and New Year's in hospital after a simple feeding tube placement went awry. I wanted to write to the hospital about the horrific ER experience, thanks to one nurse, but more so about the amazing medical...

Dear Santa

Dear Santa You know that Christmas has always been a difficult time for me, no visions of sugarplums or happy Christmas mornings or big turkey dinners or family visits danced in my brain. Until, that is, I met Mike and was introduced to his family. It seemed like a fairy tale to me, his mother...

Facing Fears

First watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzZkNdn5hpA Terrifying right? Just put yourself in that car, with that T-Rex. I know that special effects have changed and all that since the first Jurassic Park movie, but that scene will never NOT make me pee my pants. That doesn't mean I don't love that movie though, the key is to...

Memories of Another Life

I dance to the music of dinner service A cacophony of clatter Pans sizzling, pots boiling, Knives hitting cutting boards with staccato bursts The printer raucously spewing order chits I dance to the music of dinner service Orders barked from the pass Filled with precision Controlled chaos coalesces into Perfect plates expedited to waiting servers...

On Death & Dying, Luckily

Okay maybe "luckily" is too strong a word, but I didn't want you all to be scared off by the headline. I have an incurable disease, and I Have Thoughts to share. Well, many thoughts but just two today, a rant and a reassurance. Starting with the rant, so I can end on a high....

Actual Food for Thought

I'm coming off a very difficult week, one of the hardest weeks I've had for quite some time. With ALS, every time you lose the ability to do something to some degree it's the disease asserting itself, reminding you that it will, in the end, win. I've learned to deal with such losses by allowing...

Miniatures Mayhem

I put my dollhouse aside for a few weeks while enjoying a wonderful string of visitors this fall (and more on that later), but will be hauling it out shortly to finish it off! When I first started my house, friends and family expressed surprise at all of the things that were available in miniature....