Kicking off National Poetry Month, and the loo.

Here we are, Dear Reader, the start of National Poetry Writing Month. A poem a day for 30 days, is the challenge. In previous years, I’ve stuck to writing about food only but this year, I’m going to include other things that inspire me. But, I’ll still be working on the guidelines I set myself, of not spending more than 15-20 minutes composing a poem, and of falling back on favourites from previous years from time to time.

And what inspired me today? Not much, until I attempted to assert my independence by using the commode without assistance while Mike was out. It’s still something that I can do, provided I used my sling (the one that lets me pretend to fly when I’m done). Didn’t quite work out today, and so I present, somewhat ruefully but with not a hint of embarrassment, “Causing a Commode-tion”.

Oh, and a helpful hint: One part warm water & one part white vinegar neutralizes odour, is safe to breathe, and doesn’t stain the carpet. But it does have the side effect of causing a craving for fish & chips.

Causing a Commode-tion

On to my commode I went,
I did my business, was content
Strapped safely in my mobile sling
Button pressed, for my ascent

And as I rose up towards the sky
I felt some thing was not quite fly
For on my sling I sensed something
Was not quite right, I knew not why

I reached around, and underneath
I found my butt still in the seat
The sling had caught the potty ring
The loo was lifting, still complete

And as I dangled, wondering what
To do with airborne chamber pot
I felt it loosen and take wing
Stop it falling? I could not

Commode went crashing down like thunder
Spilling contents all asunder
My inner voice began to sing
“Urine trouble”, well no wonder.

At least one little thing was true
One bright spot in my messy view
In the pot was just one thing
Number one, not number two.

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