Donair Doggerel


As per the Poetry Foundation, a doggerel is “Bad verse traditionally characterized by clichés, clumsiness, and irregular meter.”
Donairs are bad food, traditionally characterized by acid reflux, gastrointestinal distress, and eater’s remorse. Really, a match made in heaven.

Donair Sub

Spiced beef paddled until it’s as smooth as silk
Packed around a skewer like a straw in milk
Cooked on the spit til browned on the edges
Then trimmed like landscaped hedges

Sauce is made from evaporated milk
Curdled with vinegar, not smooth as silk
Garlic powder, and sugar so white
You can’t look at it, it’s so bright

Buns as soft as a baby’s bottom
Layer on onions and tomatoes if you got em
Pile on the meat high as a mountain
Pour sauce like it’s from a fountain

Scarf it down so fast you forget you ate it
Until you’re so stuffed you want to regurgitate it
The arteries are hardening like concrete
And the donair love is not anymore sweet.


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